I am in a hotel in the middle of Illinois. It is too early to go to dinner, and the all day meetings have ended, so I’m at the computer. Very exciting life that I lead. So, a random (and rambling) story about my rather inauspicious introduction to dating while working on the road.
For the past year or more, I’ve been working in the same places, so even though they aren’t home… let’s just say it is getting to be pretty familiar. So, I’d be up here (or there) working for a block of time and then would be trying to cram everything else into my time at home. For whatever reason, it didn’t really occur to me to try and date (or whatever you want to call it) when I was out of town.
This is probably for a few different reasons… I was often traveling with a coworker, so that was a factor, I was busy working (of course!), didn’t know a lot of folks unconnected to work…I just didn’t really consider the possibility for the most part.
An old friend of mine, who I may post about some other time, seems to be kind of a catalyst for me. Last time we got together, he gave me this big talk about how by not dating when out of town, I’m missing out on the best part of working out of town. (Like I said, interesting dynamic we have, every time it is something different I should be doing and he’s usually right.)
So, I put up an ad online for one of the cities I was working in. Easy enough, and as you might expect, I heard from a typically odd assortment of folks who look for dates online. First one I met up with had the same name as my painter. I’ll just call him Eric, since that is his actual name.
We went and got coffee and he seemed ok. I can’t say I actually liked him, but he seemed reasonably alright and not completely annoying and I wasn’t that invested in the idea of someone there so figured what the hell. He was in sales, which I figured would be a bonus. My logic was that he was probably going to be self-absorbed enough to leave me the hell alone when I wasn’t there. I had to get to work, but told him I’d call or text or something if I wanted to see him another time.
So, that night or the next night I was done working and figured I’d see if he was around and texted Eric. Yeah, oops… wrong one. This was the painter. Mind you, I wouldn’t have been really opposed to him, he’s a cool guy…but wrong city, wrong state, and a little awkward because painter Eric was working on my house that week. Well, it probably gave him a laugh, anyway. I sent a “sorry, wrong Eric” message, so I’ll never know if he would have stopped back by the house.
Yeah, so I probably should have taken that as a sign not to send a message to the Illinois version. Yeah. Well, the guy was interesting, I’ll say that. I don’t know how graphic I should make this… but I’ll just say he had very specific preferences and leave it at that for now, may edit later.
It did turn out that I was right about him being rather self-absorbed (says the woman writing a blog about herself for her own amusement)… I am cringing a little as I write this because it kind of threw me.. he had this major thing about his own… product, to use a sales term. Like, he had to make a big point about himself licking it up.
Now, I try to be an open-minded girl and I really don’t know why I find it worth mentioning… but yeah. Not a turn on in my book. You know I’m thinking does he just like fill a glass when he’s by himself or what? Anyway, whatever. Do your own thing, but don’t expect me to act like I’m into it. I don’t fake anything too well.
So he’s all like ‘can we get together again, do I have to leave’, that sort of thing. Now, if you are not invited to stay over (and you won’t be), no, you are not welcome to stay. You need to go home. Or wherever, I don’t care if you go home, just go. Particularly if you have crossed the line from amusingly quirky into eewww.
So, I don’t want to lie to him, so of course I say maybe we could get together again. I told him I was going back home though so who knows when I’d be back around town. I believe in Karma, so I will pretty much always take a call and would honestly tell him hey, not now, I’m really busy. I’d think anyone would eventually figure out that if there was some interest, time would be made… but he actually forces the conversation–which I think is so rude–into ‘well, are you ever going to want to see me again.
I’m a middle class girl from the suburbs. It truly pains me to directly seem rude to someone (yeah, I’ve learned from certain relatives to take the more indirect method to the level of an art form, but some people can’t take a hint.) So, I had to actually tell him, after hanging out with him a grand total of twice, and once was a text message hookup, good Lord! Had to tell him outright that no, I wouldn’t ever have time to see him again.
Isn’t that enough??? No, he’s got to counter back with ‘sorry I wasn’t what you expected”. And then act sad (as if we’d been dating for some time or something!) I wish I had been forward enough to just say, nope, not what I expected and not my cup of (eew) tea, or something. But instead, just reiterated that I am indeed really busy and OUT OF TOWN and take care, already.
So–now I’ve been grossed out and am annoyed. Wouldn’t I be seen as a crazy, pushy stalker woman if I were to force such a candid answer? I don’t know, but seems to be a good idea to let a few things go!
Things are really busy right now, take care, ok?
