Parking lot proposal, alternately, I’m completely clueless

One of the little residual quirks about being married all my life is that I never know when someone is flirting.  Seriously, until someone’s clothes start coming off, I always go with just being friendly.  This may have something to do with the fact that my being friendly can (I’ve been told) look a lot to the casual observer like flirting.  Whatever, not important, but it did get me into a funny situation a while back when I was married and working overnights.

I was working with a group of security guards.  I’d meet with them on their breaks and listen to their issues and, since they were security, I didn’t worry too much about meeting with them at the worksite.  Who was monitoring the security cameras?  Oh yeah, they were.

So, it was going well, but I’d still meet with them regularly to keep things progressing and stay on track.  Two of the guys seemed like they were the natural leaders, and I tended to talk with them more often.  I didn’t think anything was strange when one of them, who I’ll call SG because I forget his name and he was a security guard, called and asked me to bring a sample contract by one of the worksites.

It was maybe 1:30 or 2 in the morning.  He was working at a school, which given the time of day, was completely empty.  Custodians were evidently all finished.  I get there and go in and go over the information a little… and he starts acting strange.  Well, step back a minute and I’ll tell you that he’d locked the door when I came in.

Ok, so I’m here trying to go over some training materials in a locked school with a guy acting all friendly in the middle of the night.  Even clueless as I am, this is starting to feel a little, um… less than ideal.   So when he tells me he’s been wanting to talk with me about something I’m trying to think quick and the best I can do is ‘oh, it is so nice outside, can we please go sit out there?’

Lame, probably, but it worked.  So, I’m now outside of a suburban middle school at 2 in the morning.  I’m still clinging to the idea that he wants onsite stewards training, but thinking this doesn’t feel quite right.  All of a sudden (I swear I’m not kidding) he gets on one knee and proposes.

Proposes!   Evidently he was getting ready to go on some Navy ship or something and wanted to get MARRIED before he left!  Yeah, and I can’t be negative or show that I’m freaked out–because he’s still gonna need to vote!  Luckily I had the perfect excuse… SG … wait, I think his name was Chuck or Cliff or something like that, “you know, that is so sweet, but you know I’m already married.  Such a shame, and you know, I couldn’t ever date someone that I meet through work, I might get fired”… ok, so he kind of buys it, and I’m walking as fast as I can (politely) and am so happy to get in my car and get the hell out of there!

My poor coworkers were not all that amused, though… as the situation freaked me out enough that I would drag one of them with me for the rest of the campaign.  (Well, until crazy man was gone!)   Ah, well…

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