I had a less than stellar time out last Saturday night. My mistake, I was meeting someone new from online and I shouldn’t have agreed to a Saturday. I have my kids every other week, so if I have a bad date on a Saturday… well, that sucks.
So anyway, red flag # one should have been the voicemail I got before the date… using all the allotted time…after hearing my employer’s name from my outgoing message and talking at length about people we might know in common… creepy! Yeah, if I haven’t met you yet, I really don’t want to know that you might be friends with my local’s president. That is gonna suck if I decide to stop taking your calls. Anyway…
Even funnier, when we did meet up, he was WAY overstating people we might know in common. He “knows” these people, as in is acquainted with them. Nothing he said leads me to believe that they would remember HIM.
I am way, way too nice in these situations, I guess. Within, let’s say, a minute and a half, I was pretty clear about our chances for a 2nd date. Ummm…no and no… Still, every time I tried to make an excuse and cut out, he made that very difficult. I do just hate to hurt someone’s feelings, so I’m sitting there trying to make conversation, while wishing I was anywhere else.
The highlight of the evening was when a very drunk ex of one of his friends parked herself at our table to rail on the ex and ask a bunch of very specific questions about us. Seriously–Q: Is this a date? Him: Yes. Q: Is this a first date? Me, very quickly… yes! Do you have kids? Me: yes Q: Do you want more kids? Me: No. Q: He doesn’t have any, what are you going to do if he wants to have more? Me: That is not my problem… She also was inquiring about another woman he’d dated, who she said “really liked him” and was upset because he’d never called back. He couldn’t remember who she was. Like I said, this was really the best interaction all evening.
We talked politics for a while… he was a Hillary supporter, which is kind of a deal-breaker right there. I’m pretty open about my lack of formal education, if someone asks about my background… no point in making stuff up… but for some reason, he is bringing this up all evening, as if I need endless reassurance. Over and over again, “you’re so smart, you could totally get a degree”, that kind of thing. ‘Cause nothing’s sexier than a condescending attitude, I suppose.
One might have noticed that I didn’t bring up the topic once… he did… and that I am gainfully employed, and it turns out, he is actually between jobs right now… Ah, well. Anyway, I left there and found I had missed nearly all of the trivia game going on at my sister’s house. Damn. Well, at least I was done.
So… given my take on the date, imagine my amusement at reading his note:
Hi (me). Dropping ya a line here.
How are ya? U in illinois? anyway, I had a good time the other night for sure. You’re reall cool and it is impressive to meet somebody with such love of country and folk music as well as irish music.
I know you’re pretty new to all this so I wasn’t sure what you were looking for. I sensed some attraction on our parts but didn’t really know how to proceed. I didn’t know if you were looking for a boyfriend so much, or something more casual. I’m not opposed to seeing where it goes but I do know you are recently divorced and have kids andsuch. But I would like to have you as a friend too. what i’m saying is that I’m open to anything. I could be casual meaning dating and perhaps being intimate if that happens. But if you didn’t want that without seriousness than that is ok too. Or like I said, plain old friends. It’s not every day you meet such like minded people. So in my rambling way I’m saying I am open and had a good time saturday…(details on his weekend plans) so, we could just touch base on the phone a little this weekend, or try and do something next week or maybe you could come over and hang out or something. I’m open and I know what it is like first getting out there again. Let me know what you’re thinking. Mike
What am I thinking? Yeah, right.
